Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
