you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
