I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I need moral support for this bender
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
