The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
50% drunk capacity currently
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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