i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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