That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
she woke up with a sticky ear
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
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