Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Girls should come with a carfax report
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Randomize
