Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
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