Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
