I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
