my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
