I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
