i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
