That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
