Your tits are I can't wait for
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Randomize
