I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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