New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
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