I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
