I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
50% drunk capacity currently
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
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