please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Randomize
