The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
organizing the empties. That sober.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
