I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
40s are totally the cure
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
