: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
