Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
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