just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
