we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
