I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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