She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
