ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Randomize
