we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
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