Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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