It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
