So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize