then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
you win again, gameday.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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