You're so nebulous sometimes
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
