I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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