You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
