if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
