I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
cat food counts as protein by the way
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
