he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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