so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
