The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
