She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
