Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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