absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
