considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
lol hangovers are for mortals.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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