i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize