I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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