I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
