I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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