Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
