i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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