I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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