i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
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