Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
