could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
