Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
