I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
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