I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
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