you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
