she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
God gave him joint rollers for hands
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
