You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
