Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
