like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
